How to Create Discipline Strategies for Your Pre-Teens and Teens?
Many people have a misconception that discipline is about punishing others for the mistakes they have made. It’s not. Instead, discipline is about guiding people towards the right behaviors. Concerning pre-teens and teenagers, discipline is about setting appropriate limits and helping them learn the right ways to behave. If you are a parent of a teen or a pre-teen and you want to know how to create discipline strategies for your pre-teens and teens, then read on. Here we have mentioned the essentials.
Why Disciplining Your Pre-Teens and Teens is Essential?
When a child is young, parents use several discipline strategies to teach them basic good behaviors. But when a child moves toward the teenage years, you as a parent need to use limits and boundaries that help them be more independent and encourage them to take responsibility for their actions.
It will help your pre-teen or teen become a young adults with their own standards for appropriate behavior and respect for others.
No matter what they think, pre-teens and teens don’t have the skills needed to make their own decisions in most cases. So, the agreed limits for behavior play a key role in letting your pre-teens and teens make good choices about how to behave.
How to Make Pre-Teen and Teens Discipline More Effective?
There are several ways to make teen discipline more effective. Some of them are listed here.
- Communication is the Key
It would be best if you communicated openly with your pre-teen or teen so that there is no confusion about the limits and rules.
- Love Always Helps
Try to maintain a warm and loving family environment so that your pre-teen or teen feels safe and can openly talk about mistakes they have made.
- Learn to Negotiate
Always negotiate with your pre-teen or teen so that they feel you respect their ideas. It will also teach them to adjust and compromise with others when needed.
Setting Clear Limits
You need to set clear limits with your pre-teen or teen. It can help discourage problem behavior and help your pre-teen or teen develop positive social behavior. The latter includes having empathy for others or showing concern for others.
Tips for Setting Clear Limits
To help you set clear limits for your pre-teen or teen, here are some tips that might help.
- Ensure that your pre-teen or teen participates in setting the limits and rules. It will make them feel you listen to them and can contribute too. They will be likelier to stick to the rules when that happens.
- Be clear about the limits and speak everything instead of leaving things unsaid. For instance, if you want your pre-teen or teen to be home by eight every night, tell them that clearly and mention the consequences of not adhering to this rule.
- Make the responsibilities of your pre-teen or teen clear. If they have to keep their room tidy or spend their allowance wisely, make them understand why it is essential.
- Agree on the consequences of breaking the rules, so they don’t rebel later. Please don’t change the punishments or increase them on a whim.
- Praise your pre-teen or teen whenever they follow the rule. For example: If your teen is following the curfew, tell them you like that.
- Adjust the rules and limits as time passes. For instance: If your pre-teen or teen is sticking to the curfew, let them watch a late-night movie now and then.
- Talk to other parents of pre-teens or teens in your circle to know whether the rules or limits you are setting are fair or not. You can even talk to the teachers of your pre-teen or teen.
How to Use Consequences to Discipline Your Pre-Teen or Teen?
Even if you follow all the steps mentioned above, your pre-teen or teen will likely break some rules or go beyond the set limits. In such a scenario, you need to use consequences to discipline your pre-teen or teen. Here are a few things you can try.
- Find the Right Fit
When setting the consequences for your pre-teen or teen, ensure they fit the misbehavior. This will give them time to think about what they have done wrong. For instance, if your pre-teen or teen breaks curfew, you can ask them not to go out with friends for a week.
- Withdraw Cooperation
Parents play a key role in a pre-teen or teen’s life. They need their parents’ support at every step of the way. So, one of the consequences could be to withdraw your cooperation. If your teen misbehaves, stop washing their clothes or making their favorite dishes. Tell them you are doing this to help them understand what they are doing wrong.
- Pause the Privileges
Every parent offers many privileges to their pre-teens or teens. Access to the latest tech tools, gifts, access to extracurricular activities that parents pay for are a few examples of that. When your pre-teen or teen misbehaves, you can pause these privileges for a while and stay firm until they correct their behavior.
- Reinforce the Consequences
Sometimes, choosing the consequences is not enough. It would help if you reinforced them by communication so that your pre-teen or teen makes time for self-reflection. When your pre-teen or teen realizes their mistake and vows not to repeat the same behavior, the possibility of them repeating the behavior will reduce.
Talk to a Pre-Teen and Teen Expert
To know more about pre-teen or teen discipline, you can trust me, Michelle Mehta, a certified professional co-active coach, an Associate Certified Coach through the International Coach Federation, and a Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioner.
I am passionate about helping teenagers feel authentic, empowered, worthy, loved and helping them create a sense of belonging and believe that the world needs their talents. So, if you feel you’re called to have your teenager work with me, let’s set up a time to talk and connect. I look forward to Empowering Your Teenager to Shine with Confidence. To know more, click here